Thursday, October 06, 2005

To be or not to be

Huh. I had to take off for a month to get nine comments. Strange.

Anyway, I'm not really back. I just figured I should throw out a word to those of you who have faithfully been checking back.

I want to write. I really do. I have missed it tremendously.

Unfortunately, I think I was enabling myself to act quite unhealthily by writing about (and as such, analyzing to death) every last action, word, inflection, gesture, etc., etc., etc.

I was starting to spiral back into some very bad, very anxiety-laden habits, and it was no good.

Though, That's not why I disappeared.

Someone posted what I considered to be a threatening comment and I decided that having this outlet isn't worth having my life wrecked by a malicious so-called friend who betrayed my trust (and who was too cowardly to talk to me about it either before or after the fact).

I have made some poor decisions in the past few months. My behavior in a number of situations has surprised even me. I'm not proud of it, but I'm learning from it.

Perhaps the biggest lesson is that you can never really be anonymous on the Internet. The second biggest is that it's not healthy to analyze life to death the way I was doing. And so, I can't post anymore.

Thank you all for your support. I may see some of you on your blogs -- I'll be sure to say hello when I check in.

But before I go, because I know some of you are wondering... things with The Guy... they continue. There's progress in some areas, there's no movement in others. I'm simply trying to have patience and let this develop in its time.

And that's all I have to say.

Be well.